Bunny & George

So his father owns the store?

His father owns the company.  The franchise, every franchise.  All you have to do, is not fire him.  He can’t threaten you or hurt you but…he can’t be fired.  Your job, is to contain any situation he gets himself into, on these premises or during his working hours.

Do I need to have the same shift as him?

No, but you are responsible for anything that he does on his shift.  Mr. Macula will be financially responsible for any damage, but you will answer to Mr. Macula. 

So, is he my boss?  

Absolutely not.  Brian Macula is an employee.  He works here at his father’s behest but it’s, difficult.  He’s not spiteful, just forgetful and absent minded and…occasionally mischievous

George chuckles, "He’s a lil minx?"

He’s an asshole but he is our employer’s son and as such, we have a mandate to protect the company and keep Brian occupied.  Apparently, he is much worse when left to his own devices.

Is he…special.  Ya know like…

He has a bachelor's in political science and a terminal master’s in eastern medicine.  He is currently pursuing a phd in eastern philosophy.  Problems sometimes arise, because of the questions he asks.

Questions?

Yes, like “Why, do you want fries with that?”  

So it confuses the customers?

At best, it confuses all of us but it tends to act as a catalyst for other things, mischievous things.

Okay, so what’s my job again?

Simple, protect the corporate image, keep the boss’s son occupied and employed.

That’s it?

No, well you still have to sell hamburgers.  Also, try and push the fruit smoothies, we have a new flavor coming out this month.  It’s ahh…mango cherry or something.

So, where is he now?

What time is it?  Oh twelve noon, he should be on the roof.  He likes to feed the seagulls alka seltzer round bout this time.  I’m joking but don’t let him bring his bb gun into the building…and never call the police, never!  You call me or Mr. Macula first.  Otherwise, you wait and if need be, remove Brian from the premises, but never call the police.  

Can I call paramedics if necessary?

Are you serious?   Yes, but you should still call one of us first.

Have there been many accidents?

No, (the lawyer shakes his head) no.  He’s not a monster, jus a great, big, pain in the ass.  Some days he thrives on chaos and others he actually helps out.  The problems is you can never gauge his mood.  His methods are…unsound.

Manager laughs "Like Apocalypse Now?”

I think we’re done here.  Don’t call for the first few days, its better if you two spend some quality time together without any distractions.  You don’t want him to think yer gonna call every time there’s a problem.  The lawyer puts his hand on George's shoulder encouragingly.  The longer you hold out, the more he’ll respect you.

Who are we talking about, Mr. Macula or…?

Both, I guess.  Try and hold on... for at least 48 hours okay?

George follows Mr. Barnaby, the lawyer, out the back entrance and pauses as walks to his vehicle.  He looks at the roof ladder by the back door and exhales.  He climbs ladder and walks up on roof to see someone sitting on a lawn chair, reading a book.

Hey, I’m…

George right?  I’m Brian but most folks call me Bunny.  Did he give you the speech?  I’m sorry bout that you don’t have anything to worry about, that guy exaggerates, A lot.  I'm here to work, jus like anyone else and ya know, that’s that.  Bunny punctuates the air with his finger.

Alright, well good, I mean great.  Mr. Barnaby really put a scare into me.

"He does that, it’s like hazing.  I think he enjoys it."  Bunny puts his arm around George.  "Don’t let him get to you." 

Alright, good.  Sooo, why are you up...

Here, on the roof?  I like the quiet before my shift starts, or ya know on my break, clears my head.  You are aware of OSHA regulations regarding specified breaks, especially when the temperature exceeds 90 deg F or 85% humidity?

Umm, yeah sure.

   

Bunny looks at his oversized diver's watch  “Oh shit”

George “Are you late for your shift?”

Bunny “No, but we’re supposed to have our union meeting this afternoon.  Actually, it’s a vote to decide if we’re gonna have a union but...certification.  Bunny shrugs,  "I’d invite ya but yer kinda management, sooo."

George “So?..you want me to leave the roof?”

Bunny stifles a belch, "Kinda, yeah this is where we’re having it."

George scratches his head “M'kay”  As he approaches the ladder, he sees a number of employees lingering round the base of the ladder, pretending to be otherwise occupied.  He decides this is a good time to introduce himself.  “Good morning folks, I’m George, the new manager, at this location.  I’ve been a manager at several other locations and a few other restaurants before I graduated college…so”

The crowd appears completely disinterested.  They look at each other with dull eyed expressions.  As he awkwardly walks back to his office, he sees several employees scurry up the ladder.  This is  followed by a cheer of greetings and the distinct sound of carbonated beverages cracking open.

Out the front of the store, George sees Mr. Barnaby in the parking lot and runs up to his car.  "Mister Barnaby, Mister..."

Barnaby rolls down the window, clearly annoyed.  "What George?"  

He's having a union meeting, on the roof?

Calm down, George.  It's Friday, on Friday they like to have a group meeting, sometimes it's on the roof and sometimes it's in the parking lot.  They use it as an excuse to drink and smoke.  There isn't a union in the world that would have them.  As long as they don't have their meetings at the Wendy's down the street; I hate when they do that.

George "It's kinda bad for our image, huh?"

Well yes, that and I like to eat there sometimes.  Listen, make sure no one falls off that roof, okay?

George walks back to the restaurant and goes up the ladder but no one is there.  The roof is empty except for a lone seagull, trying to remove some white chalk from a clear plastic food container.

He hears a car horn honk and looks over the parapet wall.  There's a line of cars waiting to be served.  He quickly moves down the ladder and into the store.  There's no one inside, all of the employees have vanished.  There's a guy banging on the drive thru window, mouthing curse words.

Near the register, on the counter he sees a handwritten note and a box of tissues:

"We on strike! until hour demands are met!  We're still trying to figure out what hour demandz are,will let yu know, thanx.  Regards with love & gratitude, Bunny"

People in the drive through are growing restless.  A cold sweat develops as perspiration drips down George's back.  He runs out back to check again.  He wonders how can this happen on his first day.  A dead bird lands the windshield of the last car in line.  People in cars start yelling at him, he ignores them and walks back inside, trying to remain calm.

Inside, he hears laughter.  Actually, it's a laugh track, like one from a 1980's sitcom.  He runs to the front of the counter but no one is there.  He hears the laugh track again but it's coming over the intercom.  He sprints to his office and inside he finds Bunny.  He's sitting at his desk, watching the Mary Tyler Moore show on the computer.  "He buddy, did you get my note?  Just a little joke.  I hope ya didn't take it seriously"

George breathes a sigh of relief and tries to contain his anger.  "It's Okay, but where is everyone?"

Bunny "Oh they left...yeah, I told them Wendy's pays 3 bucks more an hour so, jus gone." Bunny shakes his head.  "But listen, night shift starts in a few hours and we can hang out."

George "Do you hear people honking and banging on the windows?  They need food."

Do they really need food or are they just trying to distract themselves from the meaningless of their existence?