Peapah wakes up on a sunny afternoon and makes a cup of tea. He has nothing planned for the afternoon except quiet, peace and quiet. In his travels from the kitchen to the front of the house he sees an ominous shadow.
The sub-urban chorus of birds chirping blissfully is abruptly stopped when his buddy Scarecrow stands outside his door. He knows it's him because he sees someone looking thru the curtains in front of the house. He does this before deciding whether or not he should knock. Scarecrow with beady black dots for pupils pops his head around the screen door "Oh yer home, you gonna be round later?"
Peapah sipping his tea: Um yea..
Scarecrow walking in the door: Cool, I'll stop by in a bit
Peapah annoyed by his friend standing too close, backs away: Oh-kay
Scarecrow: You gonna be here later?
Peapah: Sure
Scarecrow: Cause I gotta go do something but I'll be back later, you gonna be here?
Peapah walking towards the kitchen, trying to ignore him: Uh-huh
Scarecrow: Jus gotta use the bathroom.
An hour later, there's a knock at Peapah's door while he's now in the bathroom: Yo, whatcha doin?
Peapah, suspiciously checking his medicine cabinet: Nothin, be out in a minute.
Scarecrow breathing a lil faster than normal, gets up from the desk and sits down on the couch as Peapah walks in: Cool, what's goin on?
Peapah noticing an implement on his coffee table: Is that your screw driver?
Scarecrow: That?
Peapah: Yea That
Scarecrow: No that's yours, but I needed to borrow it
Peapah: You need to borrow it?
Scarecrow: I did borrow it, Thanks
Peapah: Wha..why?
Scarecrow: I had to meet Rob and I thought he might give me some trouble so..
Peapah: Sooo…you took my screwdriver, without telling me, as a..., for a weapon?
Scarecrow: What? noo, no I jus ya know, thought I might need it…for something.
Peapah glaring at him: Need it for…a screw, a loose screw?
Quiet returns to the room for a few minutes, while Peapah decides if this is worth getting angry over.
Scarecrow fidgeting: "Hey do you have any from the other day?"
Earlier in the day, Peapah saw him rooting through his desk when he first walked in and then
watched him rack off at least three lines of zany in as many minutes.
Peapah laughs without looking away from his computer screen and shakes his head "No"
Scarecrow accusingly "You don't have any from the other day? There's no way you, you, you're a LIAR." He pulls back his nose and scratches his arm violently.
Peapah calmly: "Um...a liar?" over his shoulder, while he chokes down a meatball.
Scarecrow grows quiet for a few minutes and then finally erupts with indignation "Jenny says I owe her five but she owes me five. How does she figure I owe her?"
Peapah: I thought you wernt gonna to have anything to do with her anymore?
Scarecrow: I don't, I mean I won't but she needed a ride and I helped her out, ya know being a good guy...
Peapah: …being a good guy, for five?
Scarecrow sullenly goes: Yeah for five, and some bars, and next time I go (to the doctor) nobody's getting anything sooo (like a lil kid who's gonna take his ball and go home)
Peapah: I thought you wer'nt goin to the doctor anymore, or was that a... lie? (That last word floated on the air but received no reply)
Scarecrow: Well, fuck it, I'm in purging mode now anyways for my cycle.
Peapah: Yer cycle? Are you menstruating?
Scarecrow: No man, I'm gonna get jacked like Billy. He's already done two cycles and he's HUGE.
Peapah: I know I'm your designated enabler but that doesn't sound healthy. Yer body is not a chemistry set.
Scarecrow: Dude, listen I'm a certified personal trainer, Okay? (He snorts and pulls back the expensive snot dripping from his nose) I'm telling ya, this shit works man. I'm gonna rid this body of all impurities and exercise for three weeks straight before I start my cycle. I need two weeks of hard charging cardio to prepare my body.
Peapah: What's a cycle?
Scarecrow: Juice, test, testosterone.
Peapah: Like steroids?
Scarecrow: Noooo, dude my body's a temple? This shit's water soluble so it only goes through yer liver once. I know what I'm doin. He points at himself and enunciates "Pro-fesh-un-al Train-ur", then he pulls a cold McD cheeseburger out of his pocket. As he chews he catches Peapah's look and goes "What this, this is carbs man, gotta bulk up." Talking with food in his mouth "…besides first I gotta detox, so this thing with Jenny being a cunt is totally gonna work in my favor ya know?"
Peapah wiping spaghetti sauce from his shirt: So yer gonna stop cold turkey or what?
Scarecrow: Hey, you got hot sauce? What? No, they got this tea, uh Detox Tea it's called and I gotta stop smoking, ya can't smoke on the test. I got the patch for that but I get nightmares from the patch so I need more zany bars. The tea cleanses yer whole body of impurities.
Peapah: What about the zany's?
Scarecrow: That's medicine.
Peapah: Well you should start right now (motions towards the stationary bike covered in jackets) A clean slate, tabula rasa, go go go.
Scarecrow jumps up, claps his hands and sits back down on the recumbent bike " Relax, I got this."
Five minutes later Scarecrow stops peddling "Whew, ten minutes is a good start."
Peapah: That was barely five minutes and the resistance was set to flat & zero.
Scarecrow: What, no? I don't want to over do it, besides I'm in purging mode right now, I gotta get that tea…Ya sure ya don't have any left?
